just some babble

I don’t know where the time goes. I started this blog because I wanted to have a place to write down the words and ideas that I have circulating around in my head. But, I haven’t posted anything in quite a while. I already have 3 different draft posts on various subjects started, but which I never get around to finishing. From the beginning I wanted to only post full essays, edited, well thought out, and having some sort of point. But, while I start them, I don’t seem to be able to carve out the time to actually finish them. Its probably a matter of discipline. I’m not very good at being disciplined. I always find an excuse to do something else or change my mind or just plain procrastinate. Also, I don’t seem to be able to concentrate on stuff the way I used to. Along with my waistline, my concentration has left the building. It must be part of my control-freak recovery program. Once I decided to stop trying to control everything, I discovered that I couldn’t control anything anymore. I’m beginning to resemble a chicken without a head more and more and feel like I’m sitting in a rubber dingy, floating aimlessly on a small sea. Occasionally, I make land and actually get something done but that is rare. And after I actually accomplish something, it doesn’t take long before I completely forgot what I did. I don’t think its Alzheimers yet. I think even when I was much younger, I had a bad memory for certain kinds of things. But I used to keep a written record of what I had done so I could remember it later. But I don’t write anything down anymore so its as though my memories are now etched in water. Oh dear, it seems that my control-freak recovery program is now also recking havoc with metaphor production.

Now, where was I? Oh yes – writing this blogg. So Ive been thinking that maybe I should set my goal or maybe my aim a bit lower. Not so low that I find myself writing about what I ate for breakfast but maybe just shorter pieces. And they don’t have to actually have a point. Sort of like this piece but maybe more interesting.

Let’s see if that works.