Resting at last

December 29, 2011

My cell phone rings on the night table. I fumble for it thinking it must be time to wake up. I look at the screen, without my glasses, trying to make out where I push to turn off the alarm. But then I realize its not the alarm but a phone call. I have no idea what time it is – but its still dark outside. I push the wrong button and accidentally hang up. The phone rings back. I say “Hi, its Hilarie” to the phone. The phone says, “Hi this is Karen down in Health Care. I’m sorry I have to tell you that your mom just passed away.” It is 1:30 in the morning and December 30th has already started

Karen asks me what I want them to do. I tell her I will throw on some clothes and will come down there. They are very kind when I get there. I go in to see her. I walk up to her bed. I put my hand on her cheek. It is cold but so smooth, as I stroke her face. This is what I came here for – now there are things that need to be done.

I am told that Hospice and a doctor have been called. My cell rings – it is the Hospice Rabbi, Rabbi Kraus. He tells me about my mom but I say that I already know – Health Care found me. He says he has just called my cousin and by that I know that I can also call her. Karel and I talk for a bit then I say that I have to call my husband. Its morning already there in Stockholm. I call him and we talk for a bit. He gets to work making plans to come here – ordering astronomically priced airplane tickets for him and our son.

The funeral parlor is called. They will send someone to come for her. I return to mom’s room and sit in front of this screen. I wait.

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