There is a new illness going around and its killing off the joys of conversation.

I love to talk, as anyone who knows me, can attest to. Some people might say I talk too much. Some people might claim that it’s just arguing that I like to do. But, I like discussing things, ideas, anything. I like to experience the back and forth banter between two or more people – like a tennis match or like a good game of ping pong. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I think that the back and forthing connects people together. It doesn’t really matter what is being talked about or discussed – just the simple act of tossing words over the net and hitting them back with a clever response is the connecting factor. Even if the banter turns into an argument it is still connecting the two participants. Unless of course someone takes out a gun.

While there have been a lot of conversations that I have forgotten over the years, there are still quite a few that I remember. A lot of the more recent ones often start out and run along like this:

“I just saw a great movie the other day. It had what’s-her-name in it. You know, the one who was married to that guy in that film about the mafia? What was his name.”

Oh yeah, I heard about that movie – his name was David something. Did you enjoy it? It had some actor in it who was in some sort of scandal when the police came to his house, right. Was it in London or LA?”

“It was in LA. He was found with that woman in the Western, her name was Jane something.”….. she used to be married to that musician.”

“Yeah, right, the one in that rock band.”

The conversation continues on like this until all the names of people and movies and places are finally figured out by however many people are participating in the discussion. Each participant contributes what little or more knowledge they can to the match. However ditzy the conversation sounds it connects people together. Everyone feels like they are contributing and are participatory and everyone comes away with a bit more knowledge than when the conversation first started.

But now there is a killer on the loose. And it has found a willing host just waiting to spread this new disease into each and every conversation it comes into contact with. The willing host bares a similarity to Sergeant Joe Friday. You remember him, from the old Dragnet series on TV. He was the character in that show who’s famous line was always, “Give me the facts–just the facts.” Well, this new host specimen just wants the facts too – it isn’t interested in conversation or feelings or “I think”s or conjecture of any kind. Just the facts and don’t waste my time with anything else.

The new disease is Googlitis. It is spread by hand-held Smart Phones and through Joe-Friday-like host-bodies.  A converstion might start with, “I just saw that new movie with Brad Pit in it. Whats its name.” The contagion-riddled host picks up his disease-infected smart phone and taps into Google.com and within seconds we know that the film is named Inglourious Basterds. We know who is in it, what their characters are named and what other movies they have been in. END OF CONVERSATION! Now there is nothing to talk about – and as soon as someone mentions something with any form of doubt, the infected person with the smart phone has all the answers.

My husband suffers from this and I admit I am feeling very susceptible to this disease. I have found myself often looking his way and wordlessly imploring him to pick up his smart phone and tell me the information that is just on the tip of my tongue but I can’t seem to find. It is a very insidious disease. I’m beginning to feel like I am in the middle of that Science Fiction film – from the 1950s –  when pods land and take over people – what’s it called? Oh no!! I’ve done it! I just went to Google.com on this computer and Googled for the movie name – Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I’m infected……..